Stop Me If You've...

Your eyes could give a fuck. This is the third time you've heard me tell this story. The first time was marginally interesting, littered with pedestrian insight. The second left a bad taste in your mouth, the same stale jokes. The third leaves you incredulous, barely able to stomach the sound.

I'm sorry. It's not that I have a shit memory. That's just something I say because I'm embarrassed. I have a great memory. Those movie quotes you never get? Yeah, I can do just about any movie I've ever seen. I can tell you the first and last name of every X-Man that ever graced a page. Want to know what the aphorism number that Nietzsche proclaims the Death of God? Yeah, I got it.

I tell you things repeatedly because I'm excited to share my little corner of the world with you. I'm trying to impress you, Dummy. I want you to say, "That's fascinating. I never thought of it that way." I keep telling you the story because you never do. My private game of Show and Tell is a bust.

As hard as it is on my ego, I need it. I don't want to be that uncle who tells the same ten stories every Christmas. Thanks for keeping me honest and not laughing when it's not funny. I'll think of some new things. Promise.

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