12.08.2010

Put It Off

Uppercut by procrastination.
"Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today." - B. Franklin

Is it the last possible minute? No? Then I probably haven't gotten to it yet. Procrastination, while a massive blight on my productivity, has a rational explanation. It's not supernatural. It works. Raises my blood pressure ten points, but it works.

More than once I've tried to prove to myself that I have the capacity to change. My goals weren't lofty or noble, simply an attempt to prove to myself that I could be made better. The mission: wake up without hitting the snooze bar. Ten minutes of laying in bed is never worth the veritable heart attack of consequences that follow. Counting down the minutes before I'm late,  knocking over people in a breakfast-less dash to the time clock, I wonder why I put myself in this position.  College was no different. Chasing the sun up after an all-nighter, my body feeling like a sock left in a dryer, I'd ask myself why I did it. What compelled me to subject myself to torture and agony? Why!

Because it works. I'm never late and I always finished my papers on time. No matter how inconvenient my frantic, last-minute panics were, the work always got done. I can't pretend like it didn't. My brain won't be tricked into believing that the work needs to get done before it's absolutely necessary. I know better. Lying in bed before I work, I know the exact minute I have to be up.

I get my work done... eventually. I sleep 'til noon and pay my rent after 6PM on the first of the month. This is how I do, and I'm done feeling guilty for it. My name is Nick, and I'm a procrastinator. Shameless, proud, and putting things off one day at a time.

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