Give me an H!

Give me an A! 

Give me a W! 

Give me a K! 

Give me an S! 

What's that spell?


My name is Sean Riley. My son, Chris, plays on Reno's premier varsity football team, the Hug Hawks. We proudly hail from Cold Springs, NV. When they play against our neighbors on the Reno High Renegades, I root for my son. Obviously. What kind of father doesn't root for his son?

However, when the Renegades trounce the Hawks and move on to the state finals, The Renegades are my team. The finals are being held in Vegas and the Renegades will be taking on the Centennial Bulldogs. I'm not a lucky man, so I'm betting that the Bulldogs will take our Sparks boys late in the game. The Bulldogs' defense crumbles in the fourth quarter, but they battle to the end. Bless their little lion hearts.

Now the West Coast regional finals are a different beast altogether. The Dogs will be heading out to Fresno for the fight of their life. In what's sure to be a shellacking, the Bulldogs will concede Nevada's hopes at a national title to the Fresno Warriors. I was really hoping a Nevada team would take us to the promised land this year. My wife wants me to wipe my feet every time I come inside. We both are gonna learn that disappointment is a part of life.

If the boys from the Silver State can't take home the trophy, it had better be our neighbors in California. The semi-finals are in Abilene, Texas. And if there's one thing I can't oblige, it would be those damned Abilene Eagles robbing the west coast of its glory. The Eagles have been putting four-man fronts and are tough to beat. I suspect the Warriors will be edged out by a field goal or two. The Eagles kicker has got calves like a horse. It's a sight to see. No doubt his golden legs will come into play when the Texas boys take on Mexico for the North American Championships (NAC). Wouldn't it be something to see some of our very own Texan boys drenched in Gatorade and victory?

The problem is that Mexico's American football teams have been surging lately. It will be heartbreaking to watch those good ol' American kids lose. The NACs were scheduled to be held in Kansas City, but due to a paperwork snafu, our boys are going to have to travel to Baja California--which frankly shouldn't be allowed to associate itself with the United States. Now, I'm not sure how you play football after a seven hundred mile trip, but I can imagine that our boys might lose a step or two in transit.

In all likelihood, Mexico will take North Texas in a landslide, a personal tragedy for me and all the other proud American fathers who've spent every Saturday for the last half decade cheering our eyes out.

When Mexico advances to the Intercontinental Championship against Ghana--analysts are suggesting it's going to be Spain; it won't-- you're really going to see something special. The Mexico/Ghana game is almost guaranteed to go to OT. In the end, our North American counterparts will succumb to Ghana's superior running game. Breaks my heart.

The Intergalactic Football Commission ruled last week that high school boys are fit for zero gravity competitions. And though we'll finally be able to send our boys to the Milky Way Bowl, it's going to be hell for those brave boys from Ghana who don't have the resources to train on NASA simulators. They barely have the resources for pads and gear, but you and I both know that struggle makes men great. Forget running post-patterns in zero gravity; they're going to be occupied trying to keep their Gatorade from floating away. I think Ghana has a fighting chance against the Mars Novas. Easy when you've got two pairs of hands; truth is Ghana has little chance of keeping Earth pride alive. Our hopes and prayers go with those brave West African boys. Our future rides on you.

Ultimately, we are Earthlings and that binds us. We breathe air, walk on two legs, and shit sitting down.  That's more than can be said about those goddamn neck-breathing quadrupeds the Novas.  However, if by some miracle, the Novas advance to the Intergalactic Finals and play those mutants from Andromeda, it's a Milky Way victory or bust. Go Novas!

Give me an M!

Give me an I!

Give me an L!

Give me a K!

1 comment :