I'm twenty-seven but I still get carded. I like wearing band shirts and optimizing my iPhone. I rue the day I don't own a pair of Chucks. Working forty hours a week terrifies me. I never want kids. I play air drums while listening to my headphones. I cry at movies. I blow dry my hair. Drinking root beer is how I cut loose. I feel really uncomfortable when the top button of my shirt is undone. I've seen every episode of The Gilmore Girls. Twice. I like food plain. I read philosophy for fun. I have a system for everything. I've got a wandering eye. I'm a liar. I work the same job I got the summer I graduated high school. I don't celebrate holidays. I identify with Woody Allen and George Costanza. I tip out of guilt. I don't wake up before noon. I'll text while you're talking to me. I wear a night guard that makes me speak with a lisp. I can't watch television if the TV control panel is flipped up. As a kid I collected action figures; never took them out of their packages. I laugh loudly at inappropriate times. My mouth chews loudly. More than one person has accused me of "hating fun."

Try and love me. I dare you.


  1. You're wonderful. This put the biggest smile on my face.

  2. Finally, a man who is not afraid to be himself. Gotta love that!

  3. Thats the stuff that makes or breaks the connection.

    People who dig you love you for all those extra goodies..
    Even the whole chewing loudly thing.baha.

    Perfection on any level would be such a bore. :D