If I watch a Woody Allen movie with you, it means two things. First, our relationship is stable enough to endure the emotional stress of his truth. Second, I want you to be a part of my little world. There are films that are objectively good. It doesn't matter who you are, where you're from, or what God you pray to, the Shawshank Redemption is a good time. Allen's movies speak to my specific breed of retardation and dysfunction. I'm a turtle on his back. Be gentle.